Friday, August 17, 2012

Side Effects of Donuts

The Friday Nut

I know what you are thinking, and you are wrong. This is not an article about the physical health side effects of donuts, though it is a commentary on the mental side effects of donuts; which appear to be a plenty.

After having dinner with my good friend Sally Steinberg, author of The Donut Book, last night, we came up with an idea for today's commentary. I searched the Internet far and wide for some thoughtful insights and decided to add a twist based on my findings, the top 3 are presented below.

Whatever Chicago's Doughnut Vault is putting in its gourmet doughnuts appears to be having bizarre side effects: somethings causing people to line up for hours in rainy, 55-degree weather for the chance to buy a pastry from Food & Wine's #1 doughnut shop in the country. Want to know what it is? Maybe track down someone from this surprisingly serene time-lapse video of a Saturday morning doughnut frenzy along Franklin Street. Umbrella-wielding folks lined up at 8:30 a.m.—an hour before opening—and Doughnut Vault sold out in about 2.5 hours. Digital video enthusiast Mark Pallman made the video. Watch Chicagoans Buy 1,192 Doughnuts In 2.5 Hours

2) Body readers are wondering, "If I ate a DOZEN donuts for a day, would I have any side effects/fat gain? " an excerpt follows, but the discussion continues for 3 pages:

Floridaa:  "I haven't had a donut/cookie in like 2 years! I neeeed sweets! I was wondering if on a non-workout day, if I just bought a dozen glazed donuts and grabbed one whenever I was hungry would I have any negative side effects on my body? Would I gain fat? A dozen equals about 2800 cals (3300 maintenance) and I'd have nothing else besides fat free milk/water. Would the loaded fat kill me? Would it do anything at all??"
Womanoid: "Why all 12 plain glazed?"
Floridaa: "I figure it gives me the most physical matter for my calorie budget, right?"
Womanoid: " But would it even be worth it without the cream, sprinkles & jelly?"
Floridaa: " depends... if i could have like 9 or 10 badass donuts.. it would be worth it "

3) Serious, Robyn Lee ; Actor Jerry O'Connell Defends the Doughnut Burger:

Recently on, The Rachael Ray Show, actor Jerry O'Connell defended the combination of beef, cheese, bacon, and glazed doughnuts. "If my client is charged with being delicious, then yes—he's guilty, But the last time I checked law books, mixing great taste and flavors was every American's right."  So...why did O'Connell report for "Jerry duty" (their words, not mine) in a mock trial presided over by Judge Rachael Ray? To promote his new legal comedy/drama show, The Defenders.

I know what you are thinking now and you are still wrong. Are donuts evil, no. Do donuts cause wars, well perhaps a stampede, but no. Will donuts cause boughts of random silliness, causing people to do ridiculous things that no cupcake or cookie has ever inspired - YES! So, the next time you worry about the side effects of donuts remember, donuts make smiles, smiles cause laughter, and laughter is always a good thing.  Eat up and enjoy!


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