One of the things that has never ceased to amaze me, while surfing around the net, is the strange things that can be found when entering a common search term in a site such as google or, in this case, craigslist.
|Step back jack!|
Last night while I was taking my usual craigslist stroll, for all manner of god-knows-what, I did the same thing I usually do when looking for interesting new donut trivia. I entered the word "Donut" in the search box. I then hit enter. To my surprise one of the first headings that popped up was a listing in New Hampshire for...wait for it... Dounts as bear bait!!! And up to 400lbs at that!
Now hold on a minute here. Not that I am denying any citizen their Second Amendment rights, or their interest in hunting if they choose to partake, but 2 very obvious issues arise immediately.
1- Using donuts as bait puts the "trapper" at a ridiculously unfair advantage. Hell, I bet they don't even need to use a trap. I mean really, like anything can resist a donut. I would practically let them trap me for a donut. All they need to do is back up the van, open the door, plug the travel fan into the cigarett lighter and let the aroma do the work. Before they know it they'll have the Bear Country Jamboree in the front seat.
2- Quantity: Where in the hell does the average individual get 400lbs of donuts for strewing around the woods willy nilly in the hopes of trapping some poor little creature defensless againts its yummy goodness. I sometimes have trouble getting a half dozen from my favorite shop because they are just so tasty that the human competition beats me to the punch; never mind the woodland creatures. Of course I can picture the scene. A 1985 Dodge Tradesman van slowly backs up to the local dunkin donuts at 2am and several buldging black trash bags are passed from the backdoor through the back of the van in a heave-ho montion. Minutes later there is a subtle chirp of the tires, a bottoming of the suspension under the shear weight and an unspectacular minor explosion of sparks as the rusty tailpipe hits the uneven pavement between parking lot and street. "Why can't they fix that driveway!?" The driver thinks as he pops asprin to stem his throbbing sciatic.
I expanded my search to Google and found that this is not only a widespread phenomenon in the Northeast but throughout the US and the world.
If you are looking for bear bait to buy simply visit: Days http://daysbearbait.com/products.htmlhere you will find everything Donuts to Pie Filling to Brownies and Granola. Simply see the following menu:
(Extracted from Days)GRANOLA - in 55 gallon barrel- approximate weight 350 - 400 pounds.
DONUTS - donuts 55gallon barrel- 400lbs.+ .
BROWNIES - 55 gallon barrel- 400lbs.+
PIE FILLING- in 5 gallon pails- blueberry, strawberry, black cherry, key lime, honey almond and apple flavors.
MOLASSES- in 5 gallon pails
Or you can read the latest in Donut bait violators courtesy of the Huffington Post: "Andre Ciaravola Fined For Using Donuts As Bear Bait For Hunting" " http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:KpM-MeZPd5sJ:www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/27/andre-ciaravola-fined-for_n_592172.html+donuts+and+bear+bait&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us"
Or then there is the only article that made me feel somewhat better that my beloved dough ball was being used as a trappers treat, Courtesy of the Victoria Advocate: "Bear lured from tree with doughnuts after mom shot"
I'm of the mind to call up Tappi Bear, the famed Donut Ninja, and let his donut fighting fury rain down supreme like chocolate sprinkles on all the heads of hunters who would stoop to the depths of luring unsuspecting bears, or unsuspecting people wearing bear suits who happen to be out in a remote section of the woods, with scrumptious donuts. Where's the justice!!?
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